Unfettered Emerald Excellence ~ GuildBreaker 5000
The antichrist has been born and his name is TBL3.2, this event promises to destroy more marriages than an Ashley Madison hack. Truly and for honestly, I think this was the most difficult current content event I've ever witnessed, single fail wipe mechanics, simon says crap, banes, high regen boss and more adds than a Youtube red series. I'm not sure what our final attempt tally was but jesus what a bonkers ass 180 from the last expansion finale, from walking a Pomeranian to being mauled in your sleep by a pack of Direwolves, nary a rectum was properly puckered for this event. On a serious note, I think this will be reflected upon as genuinely one of the most satisfying moments in our EQ careers, if not lives in general. It was a hard and long grind, and we weren't exempt from the attrition that brings, and the drama it festers, but the Guild fought through it and achieved a truly memorable feat on this day, and the Pride, Joy, and Tequila are wholly warranted. Gratz Everyone, bask in the glow (and Tequila).
Palace Gates ~ It's only weird if we make eye contact
I'm not sure what's worse about this raid, the RNG you're subjected to if you do it the way it's "Intended" or the terrible BO the lot of these fuckers proudly flaunt when we do it orgystyle. Every time we do this event recently I need to buy a brand new set of ornaments from all the rubbing and the tugging, Gold leaf does not keep.
Conflagration Generals ~ Simon says "Go &$#% Yourselves!"
This event severely needs a mechanic for it's mechanics. Do you enjoy watching children walk 200 pound dogs? Do you enjoy watching said dog drag it's "Master" around every which way it so chooses? Do you enjoy the carnage this scene is wrecking upon the community vegetable garden? No? NOT SO FUNNY NOW IS IT FRANK?.... Everquest pathing is the root of all our tanks extensive psychological problems, Please Donate to the Ranonmayo clinic today and help us cure the scourge of EQ Pathosis.
Moon Serf of Harmonious Heavens ~ Word Salad
One Radiant Fog Evening, Charles and I were feeding Feather Silver Sheen when all of a sudden we were washed over with Sensible Sunshine Warmth. See, whoever said a monkey sitting at a typewriter for eternity would publish all of mankind's great works was right. This entire expansion triggers LSD flashbacks for me.
Prince Ralaifin ~ Spidergeddon 2019, Fall of the Empyr
A Reliquary of dreams for the arachnophobes on our team, never has herding the cattle produced such prattle. Prince Ralaifin promises to be the highlight of TBL for those of us raiding with our significant others, as we relish in the suffering of their toons, and their emotional well being. On an unrelated note, are there any Couples Therapists in need of a Guild? we're looking...
General Reparm ~ Escar-go-to-hell
The opus of our day 1 excursion into TBL brought us to the feet of a familiar foe, late past our regular hours due to some group progression snags, our members were keen to take out the frustration of missing the first seasonal TV run of "A Muppet Christmas Carol" on the event at hand. I can neither confirm nor deny my levels of inebriation at that hour, but I can at least recall there was a chest, with stuff in it, and stuff.
Rise of Smoke ~ Where there's Smoke, There's (Scorn)Fire
To our everlasting lack of surprise, TBL includes yet another really crappy and difficult event in T1 to block basically everyone without a sizeable/respectable tank and heal crew from advancing further. I have nothing nice to say about you PoS, you live up to your acronym sir, good day to you.
Fight Fire ~ Firefighters Fighting Fire FFS
This raid will be 5 expansions out of date and SR will still manage to wipe to it, I promise you that friends. NOBODY tells us not to break Mez, got it? CCing is a waste of a good DS amirite?